...don't even ignore 'em.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Science fiction.

2007. The world is warming, and our government has decided this phenomenon could be caused by burning oil, but given the need to protect the corporate environment, the only acceptable remedy is to introduce a new generation of non-polluting, air conditioned vehicles. At this very moment, in Washington, EPA standards are being revised to encourage the development of alternative equine-hybrid propulsion systems. Congress is also revising the tax code, of course, because the business community must be given incentives to retool for the new technology, and prepare for the aggressive marketing of lightweight drayable cars with retractable harness arms, capable of seamless transitions between gasoline and hoof-power. It is likely that Kentucky will be the only state to harvest immediate benefits from demand for advanced equine propulsion systems, but new rapid-breeder centers are slated for several other states, beginning with Texas, which will apply the latest DNA research and implantation techniques to speed up development and production. This new industry will provide employment for thousands of scientists idled by the ban on heretical human genetic research. Their retraining is nearly complete, and the first class of scientists will graduate from the Halliburton-Guantanamo Institute within a few months. A Presidential Commission has been created, under the direction of the Vice President, to consider new ideas for waste recycling. [Meanwhile, back here in 2005, for more on the state of the art, read Thomas Friedman's column in the New York Times.]

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