Radio Consulting. 5 Cents.

And worth every penny. After extensive research (you gotta say that or they won't pay attention), here's what I've concluded metal-stick-radio should do in the face of podcasting, Internet and Satellite radio:

1. First, focus on the core business. Turn your station into the best hometown radio ever. And...this is important..."local" or "hometown" isn't just doing the weather. 'Nuff said. No, one more thing: make being hometown more important than the music format. (Gasp!)

2. Embrace new tech.Take it over and make it yours. And I'm not talking about "HD" radio. Unless you can buy everybody a digital radio. Forget it, it's already too late. When it finally gets here, O.K., but don't wait. They're installing satellite radios in new cars every day, guys. Thank God the gadgets can still pick up AM-FM. Stream your station on the Web. Make your Web site rock. Come up with something unique to podcast. Other than music. And if you can't think of anything unique, forget it and put that energy into producing the best stick-radio station in town, with fewer commercials--especially rotten, crappy, screamy commercials. Stand up to the sales department--get all crap off the air, especially PI ads. Kill the cheesy station jingles. Kill the yawn-inducing wallpaper positioners and liners (...the best hits from the Sixties, Seventies, Eighties, Nineties and Zeroes...and whatever we want). Put smart, funny people on the air. Tip: look for them outside the radio business. Be the most completely Utica station in town, if you're in Utica. Be so Utica, the doofus research guys from Denver or wherever will tell you you're doing everything wrong and you're going to die. I realize all this advice sounds crazy and dangerous to you right now. But the alternative is much worse. Jack FM. I don't think so.

[O.K. you can take my nickel, put it with nine-hundred ninety-nine ninety-five and send it to Africa. Or better yet, to the Utica United Way.]